Little Mila Kunis is profiled in February’s Esquire Magazine in their feaure “12 Things You Didn’t Know About…”. The photos from Esquire are very pretty, and Mila doesn‘t look as tired and drawn as she did on the red carpet for The Book of Eli earlier this week. But I think Mila is trying a bit too hard to be a sexy vamp, when her personality shows that she’s more bubbly and sweet. But that’s common enough for magazines – they turn the brunettes into the vamps and the blondes into the “girls next door”. Anyway, the “12 Things” are funny enough, so here are some the highlights, including her thoughts on whether Megan Fox could be an evil genius:

She’s not sure what to make of Megan Fox.
“She has a tendency to say absurd sh-t and then see what happens. I hope she’s fully consciously aware of what she’s doing, because if she is, she’s brilliant.”

Aside from those eyes, she’s actually on the wee side.
Mila has got amazing eyes, caramel-colored and big. Really big. Immense. “Yes, I look like Japanimation,” she says. “I’m aware of that.” The rest of her, on the other hand, is small. “My friends call me Hobbit,” Mila says. “I come across as shorter than I am. People will say, ‘You’re not five foot four. And I’ll say, ‘People, I know my height.’ I’m constantly winning bets. Hundreds of dollars.”

She’s kind of a geek.
“I read The Huffington Post, The Drudge Report. I spend hours researching products. I’m a product whore. Like soaps and creams. And just crap. I love Yelp.” She also likes Colbert. Or maybe Man vs. Wild. “I love that he gets so excited about carcasses. He’ll be like, ‘Mmm, look at that sexy dead goat, look at those eyeballs.’ Then he digs into the goat’s eyeballs because they have protein. It makes me want to vomit. And of course I watch it.”

She wants a better class of paparazzi.
“Sometimes I’ll get paparazzi, but it’s only because someone else was here before me, and I’m like, ‘Crap, I got the leftovers.'”

She’s not buying the gossip on plastic surgery.
One site alleges Kunis had a nose job, even though the before and after photos look identical. “Where are my boobs? If I were going to get plastic surgery, I’d get some real work done.”

She hates talking about Ashton Kutcher’s romantic prowess.
“Journalists will ask, ‘Is he a good kisser?’ It’s no longer a cute question. It was ten years ago. I’m no longer fifteen. What am I going to say, ‘He’s such a soft kisser, it was delightful.'”

Contrary to reports, she never dated her co-stars on That ’70s Show.
“I never dated Wilmer [Valederrama]. I never dated Danny [Masterson]. They’re like my brothers. That’s disgusting. That’s wrong.”

She can legitimately claim to be the young Angelina Jolie.
A fifteen-year-old Kunis starred as the younger version of Gia, the heroin-addicted bisexual model, in HBO’s biopic. Jolie played Gia as an adult. Kunis’s parents didn’t quite know quite how lurid the movie was until it came out. “They were like, ‘What did we put you in?!’ They were as dumbfounded as I was.”

She wasn’t always American.
Mila grew up in the Ukraine, and didn’t taste American food until she was seven. “I remember having my first Coca-Cola at the Moscow airport. It was awful. I hated it. I’d never had fizzy water before; I’d had juice and water my whole life, and I just couldn’t understand it. Of course now I love me some Diet Coke.”

She learned to fight from Chuck Norris.
When Mila was fourteen, she had a guest role on Walker, Texas Ranger, and during the lunch break, the official toughest man in the world gave her lessons on punching. “He told me you don’t want the thumbs on the inside of the fist. When you hit, bring your hands back quickly to protect. And make sure you hit at face level so your own face is protected,” she says. “It wasn’t cool back then, because I didn’t really know who he was. Now I’m like, ‘Chuck Norris taught me to fight!'”

[From Esquire]

Okay, I have to admit, this interview converted me. I’m now I’m a fan of Mila’s. She’s very funny and charming. And I’m so, so glad she never dated Wilmer Valderrama. I thought they went out for a year or so…? Maybe that was just a rumor started by Wilmer because… well, we all know he’s sleazy. But Danny Masterson? I don’t mind admitting that I would hit that. Although I think Danny and his brother are Scientologists, which kills my desire as quickly as Xenu can say “All-Powerful Suri Cruise.”

Images from Esquire, courtesy of Esquire online.